richeeseburger

zzzzzzzz into $$$$$$$$$$

i wish to make money while i sleep.

hmm.

so i went to the mall today. i went there honestly to see some puppies. there was a deep yearning to buy a dog today. i even thought about paying monthly since the little doggies cost so much. they didn’t have that many cute ones so i left just as quickly as I got there. i left the mall after i stopped by b&n to see some comics and in the parking lot, a black man approached me (shame on you all if you are thinking ‘uh oh’..). jk haha

so this man asks me for some money to help him pay for gas. he went on and explained how his wife and kids were in the car and he didn’t have enough money for gas and that he couldn’t go home without it. okay, do you guys ever have that moment when you think back on a situation and wish you had said something else. for some reason, i said sure, i can help out, how much do you need? and he said probably like $25-$30. and still, i could have been like i don’t have any cash on me. but for some reason, i just pulled out my wallet and was like sure, here. i gave him $25. he then continued to ask if he could get like 5 more dollars so he could get some drinks for his kids or something. i don’t know why, i just believed him and gave him 5 more dollars. i thought perhaps i was doing the right thing, not trying to believe there could be other motives that this man wanted to use the money for, but still after i got in my car, i was just like, man i just gave away $30. i felt stupid to be honest. i felt uneasy. i didn’t question the guy, or ask where his car was to make sure he wasn’t lying to me. i tried convincing myself that it was the right thing, but honestly i could see a lot of people saying that it was stupid, because perhaps it was. but there was something i recalled in that moment of frustration and uneasiness. i remember i learned that if someone asks to borrow, freely give, because i would probably hope for the same if i was in that situation. i don’t need to believe that he’s going to use the money for the wrong reasons otherwise i’m limiting myself from opportunities of helping people. he could be telling the truth for all i know. either way, i think it’s better to think that i tried to help someone out. perhaps i could have gone about it better though. what do you all think? 

edit: gas station was walking distance* its at the walmart across the street. i could see it from b&n

a note

Yesterday, late in the night, I received a pleasant little goody bag with candy and a little note from a CCF sister. I like notes. I think i always have, ever since middle school when me and my friend peter back at home wrote little notes and comics back and forth to one another. sorry if that sounds stupid haha. anyway, this surprise was a bit out of the ordinary and i enjoyed the dark chocolate kit kat that was waiting inside the baggie. i split it with my friend sam choi. i think we both enjoyed it immensely while watching iron man to kick start our avenger marathon. I’d like to share with you all the note I received, it being from an anonymous writer, and I’d like to comment on a few things. 

The note read:

“Hey Richeee (:

First and foremost I’d like to say YAY for staring another year! I don’t know how you feel but I’m so excited that you’re staying another year so i can get to know you better and see your face around more often! You know when I first met you I thought you were kinda scary looking? but I have grown to love your friendly, bright smiley “Hi’s”! I hear you’re a very caring and genuine guy and I can definitely testify (: I love your willingness to help people when they’re in need of help; thanks for your help! Hope the past week hasn’t been too stressful for you :/ There’s only 1 more week left so fighting Richee! actually i was just informed you finished with exams LOL. In that case, have an amazing summer! You’ll always have people who’ll pray for you, care for you, “so whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” (1 Corinthians 10:31)

In Christ’s love, 

a sister.”

First of all, I’d like to dedicate this blog post to whoever wrote this because it was really sweet of you to take the time to write this little-big note of encouragement for me during a week where you’re probably consumed with studies, formulas, concepts, whatever is fitting to you. which also means i’m thankful for the CCF sisters who wrote notes of encouragement for the other brothers in CCF as well. I feel like it’s always the women reaching out to us boys, and never really the other way around. perhaps i’m only speaking for myself, but i guess i just don’t see it as often. i think that’s something we dudes need to work on, or just take the time to reflect on how much time we are actually spend thinking only of ourselves. 

So yeah.

Dear author of the note,

Thanks for the nice note. it was very thoughtful and i wish i could write you a note back, but i’m not sure who you are. yep, i am staying next year and i’d like to apologize for not being so social this year around. i know i could have made 100% better effort to come out and reach out to those in the fellowship but i was just sulking in my crappy life at the time. i was too caught up in my own mess that i didn’t use that time to better myself, but instead i just wanted to be alone. it was selfish, so sorry! next year, i will make 200% better effort to reach out and i’ll try to get involved with a lot, too. i kind of laughed to myself when you mentioned u thought i looked kinda scary when you first met me. i get that sometimes. i remember i used to like that people found me intimidating just by the way i looked, but i noticed that’s not really right at all. it’s pretty immature to think that way and i miss out on a lot of opportunities if i continued to think that way. unfortunately i can’t really change the way i look unless i decide to one day make myself look super flamboyant and hysterically ridiculous just so i can be more approachable..or perhaps that’ll still be ineffective haha. but yeah, i’m not very intimidating at all if you get to know me. i take it as my fault that many people don’t really get to know me however, because i take it as my responsibility to reach out to others. something i’m not very used to anymore to be honest. i used to be more reaching out when i was in middle school/high school, but that soon fell off after freshman year in college. i just felt like i had to be an independent person for some reason and kind of stuck with that. it’s just bad habits of mine which i need to change. sorry for such a long response haha. hmm what else. (lol..i proceed to talk even more) i try to help out people when i can, however i can, so please feel free to ask me for your help any time. sometimes i just need to be pushed to do things because i know nowadays i haven’t been able to keep myself accountable in doing certain things. anyway, i realize now that the school year has ended, i have been really closed off this year to everyone, so i apologize. i know it’s too late now, but i have to make the most of what i can now, especially with the juniors who will be graduating next year. i guess it’s too early to think that, but i think it’s good to recognize how little time i will have with them. thank you once again for your note. it’s awesome to know that the simplest things make me happy these days. God bless and good luck with your finals

richee

poor webhead.

ah ha..

i realized joy to me has always been a result of my fortunate circumstances and that joy was a very volatile thing in my life due to this. if something didn’t go the way i planned for it to, i noticed i was not joyful. this simple idea leads me to believe that there is something else fit to give me joy all the time, without being based on certain happenings; joy resulting out of what i plan will be useless eventually, temporary, but not steadfast, unsatisfying in the long run. i need to stop blaming other things and/or other people for my mental and emotional struggles. my joy should come out of a promise…a promise that is pretty much set in stone by God, and i just need to learn to trust Him in my circumstances. without hope and faith and love, there’s nothing here on this planet that can improve this journey i call life. it’s my responsibility to seek. it’s my responsibility to walk in the light, because at the last hour, if i have not taken this life seriously and made Jesus the focus, then i will pay for eternity in torment becoming the being of the sin i so foolishly practiced on this earth.

the 2009 richee writing to the 2012 richee.

So at the banquet we got the letters that we wrote to our future selves and this was a hilarious read for me. at first, i completely forgot when i wrote it, but then later before i read it, i recalled that we wrote the letters at our last home group together as freshmen.

I must be prophetic or a psychic because what I read pretty much was like whoa. but it was kind of funny. i told a friend i must be psychic, but he said i think you just know yourself pretty well. perhaps he is right (?)

Here is the letter:

” Greetings Richee,

Hopefully when you read this, the world has not ended because of 2012. If you are still there then the Mayans or Incans or whatever were wrong puhaha….

Today is the last day of freshman homegroup. so sad. now, since we won’t be fresmen no one will care about us. so sad, once again. Right now, I hear Wong Jong’s beautiful guitar making beautiful sounds to my ears, I see Eric Noh’s face speaking to me, I see Charles Huh beside me on my right. Okay, anyway.

Basically, you are a senior and should be graduating, however, I feel like you are not so I am going to talk to the Super Senior Richee.

Richee! hello, you have failed to graduate on time! As sad as that may be, hopefully your years in college have shaped and molded you to be a man. by now, you know a lot about who you are and how God is using you. By now, you have made friends so dear to you that you are afraid of graduating. Always know that God will provide a way in all the struggles you go through. Know and understand all is possible through Him. Focus on your priorities. Hopefully you are in Industrial Design. Be strong. love your friends and enemies. Seek a Christ like character. Hopefully God has placed many challenges in your life to grow and mature. Stay true to yourself and God. Be honest. All thing will be great through God. Graduate and live life according to the plan God gave you. Peace.

Richee Chang, 2009 “

—-

haha… you gave yourself some pretty good advice, rich. 

the most insane part about this letter was that it’s the right advice i need right now, and not only that, the way i wrote this letter was so..confident that i was not going to graduate on time for some reason. i even wrote to the richee who is a super senior. bugged me out.

anyway,

congrats to the seniors on graduating and may God bless you guys!

I’m sorry underclassmen for being so unavailable to you guys. i’ll make it a priority to change that next year. 

payce

seniors 2012.

Dear fellow seniors,

I have realized that 4 years is much shorter than what I had thought they’d be. I used to think I had all the time in the world to get to know you guys, but here I am, still not knowing you all very well and this makes me very sad. I just want to say congratulations to you all that are graduating on time. I hope you’ve made the most of your time in college and I know that you guys have some great lives to live out. I hope you all can take the time to remember each day that the value of your life is not determined by your salary, your job, or your social status after you graduate. you guys are still young and you have the rest of your lives to live really. you’ve done well so far in studying hard and now you’re graduating, some of you fortunate enough to have jobs lined up already. kudos. just go out there and be true to yourself and to God. I hope that wherever we are, we use that place as a platform to bring glory to God in which he well deserves. after today and thinking about it for a week, i know i’ll miss you guys a lot. just seeing you guys once in a while was always a happy moment, but now realizing you all won’t be around, it’s pretty sad. but i am happy for you guys at the same time.

Much love and God bless,

Richee